I met a pirate in a pub... he was pretty typical, but I wanted to
find out more about him so I approached him and asked why he wore a
patch over one eye.
"Ar, the patch," he says. "Bloody knife fight when we took over the
And I see you have a peg leg, I said.
"Ar, the peg leg," he says. "T'were a great beastie of a whale took
it off at the knee, ar."
And the hook, I queried.
"Ar, the hook," he answered. "Cannon ball off the ivory coast, ar."
And, I noted with some curiosity, you have a steering wheel near
your, ah, groin.
"Aye, the steering wheel." He paused for a long time.
"None of the injuries ye've pointed out cause me any pain. Too old"
But the steering wheel, I prompted.
"Ar, the steering wheel," he says. "It's driving me nuts."
Ar, May ye be havin' the grog of yer life on TLAPD,
Your pirate name is:
Iron Anne Bonney
A pirate's life isn't easy; it takes a tough person. That's okay with you, though, since you a tough person. You can be a little bit unpredictable, but a pirate's life is far from full of certainties, so that fits in pretty well. Arr!